


Longing

by Fottiti



Series: Sparkmates [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Forbidden Love, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, Past Relationship(s), Robot Feels, The Author Regrets Everything, Transformers Spark Bonds, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fottiti/pseuds/Fottiti
Summary: Optimus Prime and Megatron are bound to one another for life by the sparkmerge.
Relationships: Megatron/Optimus Prime
Series: Sparkmates [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066718
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> MUST READ!!  
> Okay so this story is my version of a transformers sparkmerge! Might be weird might not be idk lol, I just couldn’t stop thinking about this and boom had to write so here we are, ANYWAY
> 
> In my version of a sparkmerge: the bots bound themselves to each other for life, kinda like mating for life, they get lonely after not being with their mate for a long period of time, can even feel physical pain because of it, if they focus long enough they can hear see and feel what the other is doing, they can communicate in their minds and know each other’s thoughts. They are then called sparkmates.
> 
> They mate by merging their sparks (life sources) for the first time and basically kinda just become one lol. Optimus and Megs mated when they were back on Cybertron before the war and are pretty much stuck with the sparkbond cause it can’t be undone. Even though they hate each other now.
> 
> Oh yes and basically all of Team Prime knows about their bond cause Ratchet told them when Optimus was down in the bumps after Megs got hurt in a battle (I’ll prob write about Ratchet telling them all that in another work hehe).
> 
> Okay? Get it? Got it? Good. 
> 
> (Oh and Optimus has his smaller frame like season 1, yes yes I know he changes when Magus comes in the show but whatever lol go with it.)

The one thing Team Prime didn’t know about their leader, was his unwavering amount of love for the Decepticon leader. How after thousands of years apart and millions of reasons there was to hate him, Optimus Prime couldn’t bring himself to feel anything less than love for Megatron. They were sparkmates after all. 

Of course there was a sense of hate Optimus had for Megatron, but no matter how angry or hurt Optimus would get from Megatron’s disastrous actions that caused to much pain to their race and entire planet, Optimus would always long for him. And the worst part about these feelings was knowing that Megatron felt the exact same way. 

“Hey boss bot!” Miko’s voice disturbed Optimus’ train of thought, he forced the thoughts of his sparkmate from his processor and looked down towards the sound of her voice, “You walked right into our court?” She motioned at the few metres of the base she Jack, Raf and Smokescreen were used for a make shift basketball court. “Watch where you’re going you could’ve crushed me!”

“Whoa!” Jack was quick to rush to her side and he flicked her with his index finger on her upper arm, “Cool it Miko! That’s no way to talk to Optimus-“

“My apologies Miko.” Optimus kneeled down to be closer to her as he dismissed Jack defending him. “I meant no harm I simply was lost in my thoughts.”

Miko crossed her arms as she looked up at him. “Alrighty then. But if you step on me next time you get lost in the sauce I’ll be very very-“

“Okay thats enough out of you!” Jack put a hand over her mouth and dragged her back. “Sorry Optimus she’s,” He crossed his eyes and moved his index in a circle around his temple. “you know, crazy.”

Optimus gave a small smile at the gesture, but the guilt he felt of nearly hurting their human friends weighed on him greatly. He would have to limit his thoughts of his sparkmate for when he was alone in the secrecy of his personal quarters within the base. Optimus grimaced as he could still feels his thoughts lingering in the back of his processor of Megatron. Something nagged at his mind, or rather someone. 

Again Jack and Miko grabbed the Prime’s attention enough to distract him for a few moments. Miko turned and she pulled his hand away from her mouth and yelled at him, all to which Jack just waved a hand and shoved her gently on the shoulder. “Sure whatever! Look it’s you and Smokescreen’s ball, can we just play now please?”

“Don’t you think the teams are,” Smokescreen spun the tiny basketball on the tip of his digit, “I dunno. Unfair?”

“Yes they are!” Miko was apparently still angry with Optimus nearly stepping on her, and Jack trying to quiet her. “Smoke get on their team and maybe they’ll have a fighting chance against me!”

“Are you sure-“

“Just do it Smokescreen.” Raf scratched his hair and shook his head, deciding it was safest to stay away while she was fuming smoke from her ears. Jack just pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. Smokescreen flicked the ball down to her and it bounced once before she caught it. 

“Game on boys.”

Bumblebee nudged Bulkhead who was grimacing as Miko stomped around their court. Bumblebee made a few clicks and Bulkhead shook his head.

“Nah Bee. I stay outta it, last time I tried to calm her down she cracked a window.” Bulkhead sighed. 

Bumblebee looked at him with wider optics and made a few more beeps. You didn’t have to understand Bumblebee to know the tone of his beeps to be a question. Smokescreen sighed loudly as Raf used his huge pede as a screen and rolled with the basketball affectingly avoiding Miko’s hands and shot it at their one hoop, and Jack chased after the ball when it bounced off the rim of the ring. 

“Oh,” Bulkhead scoffed a little, “no. Yeah I’ve seen worse.” 

“I confirm!” Ratchet raised a servo over his shoulder and Bulkhead and Bumblebee turned to the medic who was, as usual, working on the ground bridge controls. “And just what did she hit you with Bulkhead? A baseball bat? There is no way she as a,” He looked at her to make sure she was to caught up in their little basketball game to hear their conversation about her, “tiny human, could have nearly shattered your window with her foot or elbow or-“

“Nope.” Bulkhead sighed and his attention turned back to her. “She used her fist.” Bumblebee and Ratchet watched as he smiled fondly, “Gotta give it to her! She’s tougher than she looks!”

“Ultra Magnus and his team are requesting a ground bridge! Stay clear!” Ratchet shouted as he opened the ground bridge, all attention turning to the incredible teleportation device. A moment later Ultra Magnus, Acree and Wheeljack came through one by one into the base and transformed from their vehicle modes. The ground bridge closing shortly after they entered. “Carry on.” Ratchet turned back to his work as the three transformed. 

Their attention turned back to the children and Optimus blinked his optics wide watching Miko take advantage of Jack and Raf watching the other bots return, she shoved Jack down to the ground as she dribbled past him. 

“Hey!” Jack called as he caught himself before landing to hard on his bottom. 

“I just broke your ankles!” Miko took a shot and pumped her first into the air as it bounced off the backboard and in. “Stay down!”

Ultra Magnus rolled his optics at the children when Miko turned and stuck her tongue out at him, Optimus wasn’t quite sure why but Ultra Magnus never quite got along with the children. Especially Miko, who had complained on several occasions of him being “too serious” or “no fun”. Wheeljack plucked the tiny ball from the ground and flicked it at the backboard, to which it bounced off and Jack grabbed it against his chest and Wheeljack snorted a chuckle as the teenager fell back from the force of it. 

Acree pointed a digit down at Miko, “Pretty sure, that, was a foul Miko.” Jack lay on the ground groaning with the ball on his stomach. 

“Alright my shifts done.” Smokescreen threw his servos up. “Standing there is hard work, you’re up Bee.”

Bumblebee crossed his arms, offlined his optics and shook his head. Raf smirked at the gesture. Smokescreen vented heavily and returned to his post on the court, tapping a pede and crossing his arms. 

Optimus turned away from the group and nodded as Ultra Magnus started towards him. “Was your search mission a success Ultra Magnus?”

He opened his mouth to reply but Wheeljack shoved his shoulder gently as he came and stood beside him. “As smooth as sandpaper, huh Mags?”

Ultra Magnus growled and shoved Wheeljack back, making the wrecker chuckle and wave his hands around at him and turn on his pedes as he went to stand beside Bulkhead and Bumblebee. 

Optimus frowned at the display. Ultra Magnus noted his expression and sighed softly, “We found nothing but a cube or so, and I failed to notice a lone Decepticon clone while on our search for energon. Wheeljack, notified me in the last possible second and offlined the clone before any damage was done to me-.” 

“Yeah! I saved his sorry aft,” Wheeljack shouted so the entire team could hear, “you owe me one Mags!”

Arcee crossed her arms and shrugged. “Its true. I saw it, Magnus would have a hole right through his chest if Wheeljack didn’t shoot the clone in time.” 

Optimus widened his optics slightly. He knew the two never quite got along, mainly due to their history back on Cyberton. But that was a long time ago and Optimus was starting to send them on scouting missions and forcing them to work together so they wouldn’t be so hateful and hostile towards one another. This event, Optimus decided, served as progress. 

“I believe a, thank you, is in order Mags?” Wheeljack leaned against the wall where Bulkhead and Bumblebee were standing. 

“Wait,” Smokescreen’s helm turned to Ultra Magnus and everyone’s attention followed. “you didn’t even say thank you, when he saved you? Tea.” The bots liked to confront Ultra Magnus more and poke at him more when Optimus was around so he wouldn’t be so bossy and act so entitled. Smokescreen shook his helm a little and Optimus could’ve sworn Ultra Magnus started trembling in annoyance. 

Optimus watched as Ultra Magnus’ faceplates glowed a soft blue under all the negative attention. The Cybertonian equivalent to a human blushing. 

“‘S alright.” Wheeljack waved a servo and shook his helm. “I think it physically pains him to acknowledge me-“

“Thank you Wheeljack.” Ultra Magnus cut him off. “Now that’s enough lounging around! You and Bulkhead go scout the perimeter of the base.”

The group blinked at Ultra Magnus in surprise. He actually thanked Wheeljack. 

“See that wasn’t so bad huh Mags?” Wheeljack rolled his optics with a small smile and nudged Bulkhead. “C’mon, he’s already got his wires in a twist. And I’m just gonna make it worse.”

Bulkhead chuckled softly and they headed for the entrance. 

“Bulk wait up!” Miko sprinted after them. “Lemme come with!”

Both Wheeljack and Bulkhead transformed into their vehicle modes and Wheeljack took off quickly, tires screeching and smoke rising. Bulkhead followed after him once Miko hopped in and closed the door behind herself. 

“Guess our games done.” Raf muttered and turned to Bumblebee. “What do you wanna do?”

Bumblebee shrugged and pointed at Raf and gave a few beeps. 

Raf beamed you at him. “Sure we can watch Star Trek!” He grabbed his backpack quickly and pulled his laptop out, “I knew you’d love it Bee.” 

Bumblebee gave a happy sounding hum and opened a palm and Raf stepped into it and Bumblebee cupped his other hand around Raf for protection should he lose his balance. Bumblebee raised him to the railing and Raf made quick work jumping off Bumblebee’s servo and then pushing the couch they had towards the railing so he could sit comfortably and Bumblebee stand behind him to watch the show. 

Optimus smiled fondly at the sight. He was glad Bumblebee had a friend to understand him and one that showed his interests. The scout was the youngest of Team Prime and Optimus was pretty sure Raf was the youngest of the their human friends, so he assumed the youngest members being friends was a good match up. 

“I’ll be,” Ultra Magnus muttered. “in my quarters for the remainder of the night.” He looked to Optimus for conformation, the Prime nodded and Ultra Magnus started towards the hall where their designated rooms were. 

One for each of them so they could recharge, they each had a berth where they could lounge in their bot forms in comfort should they wish and possibly consume energon in peace, the bots were all close friends (even a family) but it was always nice to have a space where they could be alone from time to time. Their personal quarters were nothing special, and quite closely resembled the rooms they had on their former base that held the artefacts, and didn’t have enormous amounts of room but were good if one was seeking solitude for a while. 

“What’s up for us Arcee?” Jack was still sitting on the ground, legs outstretched in front of him as he leaned back on his hands to keep himself up. Basketball rolling away slowly. 

Acree smirked as she looked down at him. “Star Trek?”

“Then a drive to town.” Jack grinned and got to his feet. “We’re joining Raf!”

“Sure!” The youngest looked back at them and smiled. 

Acree wrapped her servo around Jack’s waist and gently set him on the floor of the second level. She smiled to herself as she watched Raf pat the couch beside him and Jack sat down, she nodded at Bumblebee as she leaned on the railing to watch the movie as well. 

Optimus felt his very spark warm. Seeing his friends and fellow Autobots form such close bonds with the native species of Earth was something he could say he never quite expected. But could confidently say was happy of the outcome. 

Smokescreen groaned and tossed up his servos. “Okay that’s it. I want my own human.” He turned to Optimus with a pouting look, “Please please please can I have my own human friend?”

Optimus couldn’t help but smirk at the display slightly. “If you do believe you need a human complain, you may consult June Darby or Agent Fowler on the matter. Bringing any other human beings into our world will surely put us at risk of being discovered.”

Smokescreen rolled his optics and nodded. “I know I know Optimus, I’m just kidding around.” Smokescreen noted theunimpressed look Jack was giving him from the couch and shivered slightly, “Not that, June and Fowler don’t sound like a blast but I’ll pass.” Jack rolled his eyes and turned back to the movie. “I’ll go ask Ratchet if he needs help.”

Ratchet raised a servo and held it out like a stop sign. “Done here Smokescreen I’m just adding-“

Smokescreen vented. “Okay that’s it! I’m outta here, peace!” 

Before anyone could stop him, he was already in his vehicle mode and driving off. 

Optimus debated pinging him through the communication links, but decided against. It was most likely Smokescreen was going to do nothing more then drive around humans and perhaps even test his vehicle mode’s speed and abilities on open roads. Optimus wouldn’t put it past him if someone said he was going to try and drive up a mountain. 

It had been a while since Optimus felt such peace surrounded with his friends. He was very much starting to enjoy being around them and getting to know all for who they really were, no war or dangers to cloud their personalities. Just as he was getting used to the feelings of being relaxed and almost care free, he frowned and offlined his optics as his spark pulsed. 

It was Megatron. 

Optimus vented slightly and lowered his helm as he picked up on Megatron’s thoughts. The Decepticon leader was in deep thought about something, Optimus couldn’t quite tell what yet the images were murky and disoriented. Optimus bit at his lip plate and didn’t realize he stumbled a step when Megatron’s thoughts nearly over took his mind as well, the other’s thoughts and feelings growing so strong it was overwhelming for Optimus. His sparkmate was, he was in pain, and that was most certainly not like Megatron so crave and want something so bad it hurt him. The Prime physically shook his helm trying to rid himself of Megatron’s still unclear thoughts, he groaned softly feeling Megatron take notice. 

“Optimus?” Ratchet’s voice made him open his eyes. “Are you alright.”

Optimus vented heavily and felt the medic’s servo on his arm. He noticed the other four still within the base turned completely around to watch him, Optimus quickly looked down to Ratchet. “Distract them, I would rather them not witness me like this.” He spoke just loud enough for the medic to hear. 

In an instant Ratchet knew exactly what he was referring too. He gave his friend a firm nod and turned to Jack, Raf, Bumblebee and Acree. The medic squeezed his arm plates gently before walking to them, the four watched as Ratchet headed towards them. 

Jack and Arcee both quickly caught on and turned their attention away from Optimus, who had turned his back to them and was venting heavily trying to ignore Megatron’s throughs, and back to the movie playing. Bumblebee just watched the medic approach and Optimus heard Raf ask quietly, “Is everything okay with Optimus?”

Optimus offlined his optics hearing such a concerned tone for him, the confusion but also the guess as to what was going on was so clear in the young human’s voice. Optimus was reminded by that almost knowing tone, that they all knew of his sparkmate. Of how he and Megatron were bound to one another for life. Optimus straightened up thinking hard so Megatron could pick up on his thoughts of how much he didn’t want to be bothered. Like a warning. It was confusing for any other to think of how Optimus was picking up on Megatron’s thoughts due to them being to strong and then Megatron picking up on Optimus thinking of Megatron’s thoughts. Optimus concluded that it would be confusing and hard to understand for any other bot if he attempted to explain. The Prime groaned softly when the images of what Megatron’s thoughts were cleared enough so he would decipher them. 

Megatron was thinking about him. Them. Their past together. 

Optimus gripped his helm in his servo and tried to block out the other completely. He moaned softly feeling just how strong Megatron was feeling, he spark pulsed again and he understood that Megatron missed him. Megatron’s pain was due to their prolonged physical separation, and Optimus was feeling the same now that Megatron was overwhelmed with the feelings of loneliness and desire. 

“Optimus!” Ratchet’s hushed voice again was at his side, he hadn’t even heard his footfalls approach. “Optimus, let me help you to your quarters.”

Optimus nodded and Ratchet wrapped an arm around his middle to steady him, Optimus wrapped his arm around Ratchet’s shoulders and leaned on him slightly. 

“Thank you my friend.” Optimus whispered as they walked slowly towards the wing of the base where their personal rooms were. 

Ratchet just nodded and looked up at him, Optimus tried his best to avoid the medic’s gaze but looked down to after a moment. He saw in Ratchet’s optics that he knew, that the others knew as well. It was silent and he didn’t have to say anything because it was so obvious. Optimus nodded and Ratchet gave a look of pity, and also held hatred. Towards Megatron of course. Ratchet looked forward as they walked and soon they arrived at the Prime’s quarters, who was quick to enter and ready to close the door behind him when Ratchet stopped him. 

“Optimus.”

He turned and Ratchet stood there fidgeting with his digits as he searched for the right words. 

“Is there, is there anything I can do to help?”

Optimus felt his admiration for his closest friend grow. “I am afraid not Ratchet.” Optimus placed a servo on the other’s shoulder strut. “This is something, someone, I must face alone. But please keep this knowledge to yourself should the others question my condition.”

“Just what do I tell them? That you’ve very sudden fallen ill? Perhaps some bad energon?” His tone was light. “Optimus it will not be hard for them to figure out what is, rather who is bothering you-“

Optimus felt Megatron’s anger grow at the medic’s words. He was watching. Optimus vented angrily at the knowledge and tried his best to kick the other from his processor. 

“-because they know of your sparkmate. All of them.” Ratchet didn’t take notice to Optimus’ offlined optics. “The children know how the sparkmerge works and just whom you’ve bonded with.” 

Optimus felt his helm twitch from how much effort he was using to try and hold back from punching holes through the walls. His own temper was starting to grow, Megatron’s notorious rage seeping into his mind. 

“We are all aware now and-“

“Ratchet.” Optimus cut him off in a tight tone. “I do not wish to sound rude, but please stop talking.” He lowered his voice and Ratchet frowned suddenly, Optimus never spoke this way before. “You are angering him. And I do not wish to have to deal with an angry Decepticon’s thoughts.” 

Ratchet offlined and onlined his optics for a few moments. Embarrassment and rage flooding his system. Ratchet briefly balled his servos into fists and they shook violently before he vented and lowered his head, servos relaxing slowly. “Very well. I take my leave, but please Optimus if there if anything you need at all.” He put a servo over his chest plates and nodded, “I will not be far.”

Optimus nodded and Ratchet turned on his pede back to the open area of the base. The Prime closed his door and offlined his optics and gripped his helm in his servos. 

_ Optimus.  _

Optimus groaned and shook his helm. Megatron’s voice rang in his processor along with the images the Decepticon leader was projecting into his mind. Through the cloud of rage that Megatron constantly had, Optimus could sense loneliness. Loneliness he’d felt a few occasions himself, it was the type that could only be soothed by physical contact. A sparkmerge was the only solution that would rid of the pains of desire and loneliness, if they merged they would not be overwhelming with the want for months. 

“Leave me Megatron.” Optimus whispered, of course he could communicate with Megatron through his thoughts but his processor was already feeling full with his thoughts and Megatron’s. His mind hadn’t been so overwhelmed with his sparkmate’s thoughts and pains for months. 

_ Optimus you know why I wish to speak with you.  _

Optimus kept a servo on his helm and seated himself on his berth. His other servo gripped onto the edge. 

_ It has been nearly a month you and I have not been in each other’s physical presence. You know very well that we are suffering from the prolonged separation- _

“There is nothing to do.” Optimus shook his helm. “I will push our unfortunate bond and the side effects that come with aside.” He sighed heavily. “You are dealing with the side effects. I am not.” Optimus didn’t fully understand why he felt a pang of saddness from Megatron at his words. But he didn’t have very much time to think over the matter. 

_ I offer a solution. I do not like this idea more than you will but there are things that must be done so we are not overcome with the, unfortunate, desire or pain.  _

Optimus suddenly knew where this was going. “I will not Megatron. I refuse.”

_ Just one time Optimus. A simple sparkmerge and that is all, you do not even have to speak if you wish.  _

The offer was appealing. The very thought of meeting with Megatron alone and merging their sparks just once, make Optimus’s thoughts absent mindedly drift to the positive outcomes, the offer didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. It would put Megatron out of his pain, and then the other wouldn’t have to invade Optimus’s mind to get his fill of his sparkmate. 

_ You suffer from these, desires and pains as I do. I feel it Optimus, as you feel my longing. _

Optimus got to his pedes and paced around his quarters. He supposed the Matrix of Leadership had something to do with suppressing the feelings of longing and desire, though Optimus felt the pains he was sure he didn’t experience them half as bad as Megatron did. Thinking deeply but doing his best to push Megatron away as he thought. He could feel Megatron waiting for his answer to the offer. The more Optimus thought about meeting alone with Megatron during the night the more his spark throbbed in anticipation. He wanted the pains and the longing to go away, and he knew the only solution was meeting with the Deception leader. 

_ Tonight. I will supply coordinates.  _

Optimus felt his faceplates heat at the confirmation of their meeting. “One sparkmerge and that is all.”

_ That is all.  _

Optimus felt the other vacate from his mind. 

.

The Prime transformed from his vehicle mode when the ground got to bumpy to drive on. Optimus vented and silently cursed himself for agreeing to such a stupidly tempting offer. 

He double checked the coordinates supplied to him and confirmed his was in the right canyon. Where the slag was the Decepticon leader? The Prime debated on having a blaster out just in case this was a set up, but he remembered his and Megatron’s vow to never use their bond for the war. Optimus trusted Megatron to that standard and fought the slight urge to arm himself. He knew Megatron wouldn’t bring anyone else. 

Optimus kept his battle mask in place when the Decepticon came into view. Megatron was casually leading back against the canyon wall with his optics offlined. The Prime cursed himself for a taking a very short moment to admire Megatron’s frame. Optimus looked down and saw his very spark pulse a bright blue in excitement at being so close to its other half. The Prime watched as Megatron’s Decepticon insignia did the same, only purple. He vented as Megatron shifted at the sensation, knowing Megatron was feeling the same sensation of need. 

Megatron’s optics came online and Optimus balled his servos into fists as that fiery gaze landed on him. 

“Optimus. I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t show.” Megatron’s smirk made Optimus frown. 

“Let us get this over with.” Optimus kept his voice level as he watched Megatron walk over to him slowly. 

Megatron nodded and Optimus felt another twinge of sadness through their bond. He ignored it. 

The Prime left his faceplates heat as Megatron loomed over him. Their sparks pulsing at being so close. Optimus watched as Megatron’s chest plates retracted to show his life source, Optimus looked up to his optics and saw pain and longing. Megatron offlined his optics as Optimus gathered the strength to retract his own chest plates after a moment, once free from its chamber, his spark pulsed with need. Optimus couldn’t remember the last time they had done this. 

Megatron kept his optics offlined as his servo absentmindedly reached out and gently took a hold of Optimus’ arm. The Prime looked at his servo and could feel Megatron’s growing impatience feeling their sparks so close yet so far. It was torture how his processor and body ached for his mate. 

Optimus offlined his optics and pushed his spark out, waiting for a short moment before Megatron did the same and then their sparks met. 

Both gasped and groaned as their life sourses mingled and wrapped together. Becoming one. Their minds were completely open to one another, memories and thoughts and feelings and words shared with one another so openly it was like they had one mind. One body. Their sparks mingled and their lights shone so brightly it would be blinding to any but each other. It wasn’t as intense as it was when they bonded and shared pieces and parts of their sparks with one another forever, but the sensation was enough to take them completely by surprise. They had needed this for so long needed to end the distance, it had been nearly forever since they merged and Optimus knew that their sparks were going to be difficult to tear apart. Megatron groaned loudly and took a step closer to the Prime. Optimus grabbed a hold of Megatron’s arm to steady himself and was sure he was squeezing so hard the metal bent. 

“Optimus.” Megatron sighed as the Prime felt Megatron’s need to praise him. “Oh Optimus.”

Optimus kept his battle mask in place as he squeezed his optics shut trying his best and fighting the urge to press up against the other. Keeping in mind that the Matrix suppressed his feelings slightly, he could feel Megatron’s emotions thought their bond. It was overwhelming and Optimus couldn’t help as his forehelm dropped and his other servo grabbed Megatron’s other fore arm. Optimus knew he didn’t feel the side effects of their prolonged distance as much as Megatron did, and he was overcome with guilt knowing that Megatron felt the desire and pain at their separation without a suppressant. Megatron felt the full pains, while Optimus only felt a fraction. 

Their sparks stayed as one as they adjusted to the feeling. 

Optimus onlined his optics after a few minutes and was venting so heavily he didnt even realize until he could hear himself. It took a moment for his processor to reboot and spark to retract into its chamber, and chest plates cover his chamber to hide beneath the layers of protoform and armour. Optimus was shocked at feeling just the amount of pain and suffering Megatron had to deal with. Shame built within him. 

What was more shocking though, was how he was pressed against the canyon wall and Megatron’s servos on his waist, the other’s forehelm resting against his shoulder strut. He couldn’t even remember Megatron spinning them around and pressed him back against the rock. Optimus quickly became heated realizing his own servos were digging into the back plating of Megatron’s armour. He guessed moments before he was pulling the other closer. 

Optimus vented and quickly retracted his trembling servos so they were resting at his sides. Optimus offlined his optics waiting for Megatron to come to his senses, hoping the other would move away and their meeting would be finished without another word. 

But instead he groaned and his servos rubbed up Optimus’s middle. The Prime nearly short circuited at the feeling. “Have I ever told of how long I’ve wanted to feel this new frame of yours? Of how smooth your metal is.” Megatron turned his faceplates towards Optimus’s neck and he vented heavily. “I only remember your tiny and easily overpowered archivist frame beneath me. I haven’t had a chance to see this frame pressed against my berth beneath me. I imagine it would be a heavenly sight, a gift from Primus.” He nuzzled his face plates against Optimus’s cables. Sharp teeth briefly closing around a large major wire. Optimus shuttered, unable to move. 

Optimus was trembling at the feeling of hot air against his cables. His optics flickered as mental images of himself heated and post overload flooded Megatron’s mind. 

Megatron’s servos rubbed up and down his frame gently, causing Optimus to groan beneath his battle mask and leaned his helm on Megatron’s shoulder strut, losing his own battle. “This new frame,” Megatron’s voice lowred, “is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. My sparkmate, you are absolutely stunning beyond words.” 

Optimus shook his helm at the words, wishing his fans didn’t kick on and spark pulse as he became more heated. 

Megatron pulled back so their optics met. “There is no need for your face mask with me Optimus.”

Their optics locked and Optimus could only feel his spark begging for his mate. How his mind, body and soul begged for Megatron. Optimus vented and a second later, his battle mask retracted to show his parted lip plates and softly glowing face places. He was sure his face plates were glowing an embarrassing amount of energon blue, but with his sparkmate he knew he didn’t need to worry about rejection or judgement. 

“My spark has not pulsed this brightly since the night we bonded on Cyberton.” Megatron smiled so genuinely at the sight of the Prime’s curious expression, all he could see was that little archivist he had fell in love with all those thousands of years ago. Optimus wrapped his servos around to hold him again. “I remember every detail of you my spark, my beloved Orion, on that night we bonded. That night we became one for the first time.” Their optics never parting. Megatron raised a servo and rested it against Optimus’s helm, holding his helm as their sparks pulsed brightly for one another yet again. “Do you remember Orion?”

“Yes Megatronus.” Optimus whispered not able to fight their bond. 

Megatron vented and his grip on Optimus’s waist tightened. Then, he leaned closer and their forehelms rested against one another, the closest they could be. Their frames pressed against one another and servos tugged the only closer. Their chest plates retracted automatically and their sparks quickly mingled once more. Life sources becoming one yet again. Servos gripping onto one another more tightly and their forehelms against one another as their minds became one. Optics offlining and soft noises of need escaping both. 

They stayed like that for a long time. Sparks becoming one, their bodies pressed together, servos holding one another so tightly. Optimus couldn’t help but smile slightly as Megatron cupped a servo around the back of his helm and held him close. Protective. Megatron rumbled and vented slowly feeling Optimus move closer. Face plates pressing against his neck cables. It was perfect. 

Megatron pulled back after a while to see Optimus blink his optics on and stare up at him with a gentle and curious expression. He had missed that expression of his sparkmate to much. A sudden sadness overcame Megatron. “Oh Optimus.” Megatron ran a digit over Optimus’s lip plates slowly. “What have we become?” There was a sadness in his voice that nearly broke Optimus. 

The Prime vented heavily so suddenly at the words. It was true. What was he doing with the Decepticon leader, what was he thinking? Optimus came to his senses replaying the words in his processor. He forced his spark to retract into its chamber, ripping them apart, and he quickly turned his face away from Megatron who was only an inch or two apart. He activated his battle mask and offlined his optics as he retracted his servos from Megatron’s back and he couldn’t meet the other’s optics as his spark pulsed for its other half under his protoform and armour. 

“Optimus-“

The Prime pushed the Decepticon away roughly making him stumble and shook his helm not wanting to hear his words. Megatron still was leaning against the canyon wall with a servo resting on it while they merged. Optimus hated how moments before, it was he who Megatron was leaning over and looking down upon. He was beyond disgusted with himself. 

“Present this idea again when only when you are desperately in need of the sparkmerge.” Optimus’s voice was back to being guarded, the sound of it different while behind his battle mask. He turned and couldn’t bear to look into that broken and hurt look across Megatron’s faceplates again, and at his pulsing spark. The purple of it showing how different they were. The Decepticon’s life source was still out, desperately wanting to become one with its other half again. An act that was life threatening in the presence of another bot, but an act that showed an unwavering amount of trust. Optimus could easily end Megatron’s life if he grabbed his spark and ripped it out further from it’s chamber, could end his life if he activated his blaster shot at his exposed chamber and kill Megatron with one shot. An act that showed an unimaginable amount of trust, the sight made Optimus full with shame again. 

“Optimus-“

“I will not meet with you on my own account of desire.” Optimus felt his optics start to burn. “I can handle the pain of loneliness and want, due to the Matrix. You suffer without a guard, for that I am sorry but present this idea only when you are beyond overwhelmed and cannot fight the pains any longer.” 

Megatron turned to watch as the Prime walked off to give himself enough space to transform. Slowly, he retracted his spark into its chamber and hid his life source beneath his protoform and armour. His insignia continued to pulse purple. 

“Remember,” Optimus turned to look at the Decepticon, and Megatron hated the deep frown Optimus had but there was something else in his optics, he couldn’t tell what, “this changes nothing Megatron. We are still at war, and I will act so should I encounter you on the battle field. Sparkmate or not, you are my enemy as I am yours.” And with that he turned and didn’t wait for an answer as he transformed and drove away. 

Megatron watched with torn emotions as the Prime drove from view. Anger boiled within him, his dare Optimus talk to him in such a way. He also just felt empty as Optimus drove away, sadness and the embarrassing feeling of being rejected and pushed aside also rose within him. He felt stupid for thinking they could end the war with a single sparkmerge. Megatron grew angry quickly, servos balling into fists at his sides. But he couldn’t stay mad, he knew Optimus was right. No matter how much he wanted them to go back to the way there were before the war but knew it would never happen. Optimus’s thoughts and feelings were guarded with the help of the Matrix so Megatron couldn’t penetrate the mental wall and expose his very deepest thoughts. A very tiny piece of him held hope onto the though that Optimus wanted to return to the way they were as well. He pressed nonetheless, knowing it was useless. 

_ What have we become my beloved Optimus?  _

**Author's Note:**

> Was it okay?? Be real 
> 
> Anyway thanks so much for reading and it would really be great if y’all would comment yours thoughts about this wack ass idea!


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